So today the husband and I went out to dinner at our favourite local restaurant, The Canoe Club in Lake Lotowana, MO. If you’re ever randomly in this area of KC, just east of the Metro, y’all should stop by, it’s amazing. Anyway.. I digress.
So we were enjoying our second drink (mine a merlot, his a mojito), and the husband told me that he thought that I exercised an amazing amount of restraint today. You see, this morning I had the very rare opportunity to be completely honest about a situation that I desperately wanted to be honest about. But I didn’t take it.
You see, when I sat down to have “the conversation” I realized that no matter how effectively I demonstrated my feelings to my audience, my feelings would never mean as much to those people as they do to me. However persuasive I was, however emotional, I would never be able to control the outcome of that conversation, and I would probably always wonder if I could have said it better.
So I decided to rise above the situation, be gracious and kind, and not deliver myself into a situation that would always hurt ME the most.
Will I ever regret this decision, I wonder? Will I ever wish that I had laid it out on the table, given my complete and honest opinion? Would I feel more validated? I don’t know the answer to these questions, however, I do feel calmer and more like “me” this evening than I have in a while. Ultimately, I am not the type of person to use words to hurt a person, even indirectly, and by not being as honest as my husband thought I would be, I was able to leave the room as gracious as possible. I really learned the meaning of “if you throw enough mud at a wall some of it will stick” – in a world where everyone is throwing mud, I want to be the person that thinks that it’s important to rise above it.